Tags: !swimming

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THE DOUCHEBROS PRIMER

(NOTE: written on Thursday night, but then we collapses from FEELS so had to come back & format for posting over the past couple days. We are super great like that.)

Before we start, this will probably require alcohol on your part. So here, have Bess’s complimentary Bartending School Dropout™ recipe for Sex On The Beach:

  1. Fill mixing glass with ice.
  2. Add one (1) shot each of vodka & peach schnapps.
  3. Fill glass halfway with orange juice, and the rest of the way with cranberry juice.
  4. Add a dash of grenadine.
  5. Pour into shaker & shake. OR, if you’re classy bitches like we are (and let’s face it, if you’re reading this, YOU ARE), you can improvise with a wide-mouthed Avengers cup placed over a drinking glass.
  6. Strain into hiball glass, and garnish with an orange wedge if you’re feeling fancy. And have an orange.


OKAY DO YOU HAVE YOUR ALCOHOL NOW

GOOD. STORY TIME!

So once upon a time I did not give a shit about swimming, thought Michael Phelps was a douche, and hardly knew who Ryan Lochte was.

That time was 72 hours ago. And then I incepted myself with/dubconned myself into feels? We’re...not really sure how that happened. It started with ironically hate!shipping them and then there was a dark spiral that we’re all just trying to block out of our collective memories. ([personal profile] pennyplainknits described it as “like seeing a tiny bb animal brought down by wolves”.) Whoops.

BUT I’M BRINGING YOU ALL DOWN WITH ME. *coughpaperclipbitchcough*

So allow [profile] war_kitten & I to introduce you to The Douchebros.

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Crossposted to Dreamwidth here. There are comment count unavailable comments over there.
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DOUCHEBROS PODFIC

For all of you who follow me on twitter, you KNOW what this is about. For the rest of you, there's a primer coming later tonight. (It'll be the ~CLASSIEST primer you've ever seen. THERE ARE COCKTAIL RECIPES)

This podfic needs no further explanation--OH WAIT. Yeah, you should never dare me to record podfic at work, YOU'LL LOSE (/win)

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I have a lot of #DouchebroFeels, you guys. I apologize for what I've been told are at least two instances where I mix up Ryan & Michael's names, whoops. (Too lazy/hard to fix.) Also the shitty sound quality (again, recorded at work, so on my phone, in the cavernous echo-y chamber that is the main room of our office). #DealWithIt.



I'M NOT SORRY

Crossposted to Dreamwidth here. There are comment count unavailable comments over there.