Bessyboo, Queen of the Purple-Eyed Creatures (bessyboo) wrote,
Bessyboo, Queen of the Purple-Eyed Creatures
bessyboo

  • Location:
  • Mood:
  • Music:

THE DOUCHEBROS PRIMER

(NOTE: written on Thursday night, but then we collapses from FEELS so had to come back & format for posting over the past couple days. We are super great like that.)

Before we start, this will probably require alcohol on your part. So here, have Bess’s complimentary Bartending School Dropout™ recipe for Sex On The Beach:

  1. Fill mixing glass with ice.
  2. Add one (1) shot each of vodka & peach schnapps.
  3. Fill glass halfway with orange juice, and the rest of the way with cranberry juice.
  4. Add a dash of grenadine.
  5. Pour into shaker & shake. OR, if you’re classy bitches like we are (and let’s face it, if you’re reading this, YOU ARE), you can improvise with a wide-mouthed Avengers cup placed over a drinking glass.
  6. Strain into hiball glass, and garnish with an orange wedge if you’re feeling fancy. And have an orange.


OKAY DO YOU HAVE YOUR ALCOHOL NOW

GOOD. STORY TIME!

So once upon a time I did not give a shit about swimming, thought Michael Phelps was a douche, and hardly knew who Ryan Lochte was.

That time was 72 hours ago. And then I incepted myself with/dubconned myself into feels? We’re...not really sure how that happened. It started with ironically hate!shipping them and then there was a dark spiral that we’re all just trying to block out of our collective memories. ([personal profile] pennyplainknits described it as “like seeing a tiny bb animal brought down by wolves”.) Whoops.

BUT I’M BRINGING YOU ALL DOWN WITH ME. *coughpaperclipbitchcough*

So allow [profile] war_kitten & I to introduce you to The Douchebros.

NOW WITH 100% MORE CUT TAGS, WHOOPSCollapse )

Crossposted to Dreamwidth here. There are comment count unavailable comments over there.
Tags: !! primer, !swimming, the douchebros are giving me feels again
Subscribe

  • DOUCHEBROS PODFIC

    For all of you who follow me on twitter, you KNOW what this is about. For the rest of you, there's a primer coming later tonight. (It'll be the…

  • Dear Festividder 2019

    FESTIVIDS TIME IS UPON US AGAIN!!!! < Dr. Burns fingers > MOST excellent. The short version is: WHOO VIDS \o/ I AM EXCITED TO SEE WHAT YOU…

  • here it goes here it goes here it goes again (duh nuh nah nuh nuh)

    Something something I'm very tired and you know the drill by now. Usual spiel: HI, I'M THE MOD, SO THIS IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT FROM NORMAL…

  • Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 9 comments