Bessyboo, Queen of the Purple-Eyed Creatures (bessyboo) wrote,
Bessyboo, Queen of the Purple-Eyed Creatures

Happy Holidays! Have some podfic.

I'll actually spare you my usual holiday rant (see tag: holidays make me ranty...), because I come bearing gifts! (Also, because there's not a whole lot to say about my Christmas, other than it SUCKED, because I had a totally debilitating migraine, and spent the whole day in bed, except when I was throwing up. It was AWESOME.)

So. Do ya'll wanna know why I am using this icon? (No, you don't, I know, shut up, I'll tell you anyway.) Because I have shiny Calvin & Hobbes podfic! :D YAAAY!

I've actually been holding off on posting this sucker for a week or so now, but after listening to it all the way through three times, and being unable to identify why I still hadn't posted it, I'm just gonna throw it out there and be done with it. (NOTE: aside from a couple technical blips between the tracks/sections, which I could not fix because ROXIO IS BEING A LITTLE BITCH! *hits with a stick* Seriously, I'm totally switching to Audacity after this.)

So, first off, some notes about the fic. This was recced to me AGES ago by moonlingmaid (I think). I remember going, "OMG CALVIN AND HOBBES FIC!" and reading it, and then going "...OMG THAT WAS AWESOME GIMME MOARRR!" Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot of Calvin & Hobbes fic out there. The only two that really stuck in my mind happened to be what I sort of think of as mirrors of each other. They're both future fics, they're both Calvin/Susie, Calvin dates Jessica in both. However, tonally, they're totally opposite--I think of them as "the optimistic future one" and "the pessimistic future one". In the optimistic one, Calvin gets put into honor classes and ends up doing well enough in school and life to get work as a graphic designer. In the pessimistic one, he gets put into remedial courses, is the king of detention, and ends up doing manual labor. One could actually use the Hobbes in these stories as a sort of metaphor: in the optimistic one, Calvin continues to interact with Hobbes, even into adulthood. In the pessimistic one, Hobbes stopped talking to Calvin, although he can't remember when.

BUT. I digress. I love both of these fics, and truthfully, my personal take on Calvin's future is somewhere in between where each of these fics are. But at the end of the day, while I really like the optimistic one (which, for the record, is Every Day Is A Reminder by ishie, which ya'll should go read because it's great), the pessimistic one is the one that will always truly have a special place in my heart. (Also, I feel I should say--don't worry, it's got a hopeful ending!)

And which fic is that, do you ask? Why, Theories About Nuclear Winter, by hollycomb.

Theories About Nuclear Winter
Calvin & Hobbes (Calvin/Susie)
by hollycomb
read by bessyboo
runs 1:40:57

MP3 [39.7MB]: MediaFire | Audiofic Archive Page
Audiobook (M4B) [42.6MB]: MediaFire | Audiofic Archive Page

So, notes about the podfic. First off, the cover art: the guy in it is Neil Haskell (of So You Think You Can Dance and later, Broadway fame), who my sister was suuuuuuper obsessed with for a while. We both heartily agreed that if anyone ever did any sort of stage version of Calvin & Hobbes, Neil would totally play Calvin. (See: Exhibit A/Exhibit B)

Now, like I said, I really, really love this fic. But when I was thinking about old fics that I could podfic a while back, I was looking at this one, and it was this passage in particular that grabbed me and made me go, "oh man, I know exactly how I want to do this" (WARNING: spoilers for the fic):

"You know what I told her about you? What I tell everyone? I've gotten really good at it, do you want to hear? It's a really great story, everyone always laughs. Okay, you be her. Or whoever. Ready? Ask me if I had a boyfriend in high school."


"Did you have a boyfriend in high school?" he asks glumly, afraid of the answer.


"No, well, kind of." She puts on a fake smile and sits up straighter. "It's actually this kind of hilarious story. I grew up next door to this kid, and I was in love with him, I mean in love, for as long as I could remember. Like, we used to throw snowballs at each other and steal each other's toys, and he was so mean to me but we were always trying to get each other's attention, and then this one day he, like, held my hand on the way home from school when I was crying, and, oh my God, I loved him so much. But he was also this kind of weirdo, like, he was a really bad student, and when we were in high school he started dating this psycho girl and they got, like, arrested for burning down a concession stand together."

She stops for a minute, her fake-cheerful voice beginning to strain and her hands clasped tightly in her lap.

"This is the part where you laugh and ask me if I'm serious," she says flatly, but then she goes on when Calvin only sits and stares at her.

"Anyway, so he's dating this crazy girl, and I'm, like, all heartbroken of course, and so jealous, like, just the sight of her in the halls at school used to make me sweat with rage, I mean, it was ridiculous. So, but, listen, okay, he breaks up with the girl after the whole arrest thing, right? Probably just because his parents made him. And he's all, like, trying to be good, you know, because he's on probation or whatever, so he starts trying to date me. And I'm a total sucker for it – like, this one night he showed up at my window at two in the morning, and I just thought it was the most romantic thing, of course. And I'm imagining that we're going to go to prom together, me and the crazy neighbor boy, like we were destined to be together or something stupid like that, and then, you'll never believe this. His freaking crazy ex-girlfriend set fire to my house! No, I'm not kidding! They, like, locked her up in a mental institution and everything. And the guy, the crazy neighbor boy, he left town. Because he was afraid to get implicated in the investigation of the fire. But no, no, I don't think he had anything to do with it. And no, I don't know whatever happened to him. I never saw him again. So that's my high school boyfriend story."

That passage just...spoke to me. Maybe it's because I kinda do this in my life (make totally unfunny things into a funny anecdote I tell people), and maybe it's because this fic (and this passage in particular) spoke to me on a deeper level because when it comes down to it, I've always identified a lot with Susie, and "Susie-voice" just came really naturally to me for this podfic. (Certainly this one was much easier for me to get into the characters' heads and find their voices than the last podfic I did, but I think that's partly by design, and partly down to canon source material.)

So. I know this whole post has been kind of tl;dr, so I'll stop now before it gets totally out of control. I hope ya'll like it! :)
Tags: !! podfic, !calvin & hobbes, am running stealth campaign to delurk a

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