The Doodles of Bessyboo

I've been searching for quotes for my Bat Mitzvah project, and here's some funny ones...

"It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it." ~Sam Levenson

"I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something." ~Jackie Mason

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying." ~Woody Allen

"Anyone who teases you loves you." ~Jewish Proverb (Maybe it's not exactly funny, but I got a laugh out of it. I mean, by those standards, think how well loved we are!)

"No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you." ~Sholom Aleichem

"God could not be everywhere and therefore He made mothers." ~Jewish Proverb

"Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly." ~Winston Churchill

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." ~Thomas Edison

"Get the facts first. You can distort them later." ~Mark Twain

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one." ~Charles Sykes

"Computers will never replace good old-fashioned human stupidity." ~Anonymous

"Multi-tasking - Screwing everything up simultaneously." ~Anonymous

Welp, that's all for now purple-eyed creatures.

~Bessyboo