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The Doodles of Bessyboo

Guess what time it is? FIC SNIPPET/BUNNY POSTING TIME!!!

5/10/08 08:43 pm - Guess what time it is? FIC SNIPPET/BUNNY POSTING TIME!!!

So, I haven't actually written fic since I was active in HP fandom in like, 9th grade at the latest, and haven't posted anything in even longer (5th grade, I believe?). So, it feels a little strange to be writing (and posting) fic again. For those of you who don't know, I REALLY don't consider myself much of a writer; I'm much more of beta/editor. Still, bandom seems to have driven me back into that fic-writing place of mind, so...here's what's been going in/come out of my crazy-ass head XD

Angels & Devils AU
So, after reading stereomer's guardian angel AU bunny (which is possibly now her bigbang fic?), I had this idea that went something like, "What if heaven and hell were run like corporations? And what if God and the Devil were like the presidents/CEOs of the company? AND WHAT IF ALL THESE POSITIONS WERE FILLED BY THE BANDOM BOYS?!" And it turned into this...

Once upon a time--not all that long ago, really--God and the Devil were friends. They would meet up at a different coffee house of God's choosing every other Sunday, and had some good times in the Devil's "super-sekkrit basement of AWESOMENESS" (as he so affectionately called it) every Friday night. However, they eventually realized that they just had different visions for the fate of the human race, and decided that given this, it was probably better if they didn't hang out. Since then, they've proclaimed themselves "mortal frenemies" in public. This isn't entirely true, though. They still exchange Christmas and birthday cards, and when he gets really bored, the Devil sometimes drunk-dials God. God always finds this exceptionally hilarious. Good times.

So, as you can probably tell, the Devil is Gabe. And Pete is God (yeah, that's right XD). Patrick is God's personal assistant (think Betty to Pete's Daniel--Ugly Betty, anyone?), and Bill and Travis are Gabe's right-hand men (kind of like Pain and Panic to Hades in the Disney movie Hercules). Random other people: Brian is in charge of Angel assignment, Ray and Bob are the HR Reps for Heaven and Hell (respectively), and Mikeyway is the most absent-minded (worst) guardian angel EVER (but you still gotta love him). There are lots of other people I have cast, but those are the only ones that come up in this next snippet, I believe.

"Guys, great news!" William pranced into the room, a wide smile on his face.

Travis looked up from the game of Sorry! (Disney Edition!) that he'd been playing with Gabe. "What's up, man? Pete mix up the days of the week again?"

"No, even better! Mikeyway's back in the field!"

"Seriously?" Gabe's gaze shot up from rearranging the pieces on the board to meet William's face. "Who'd you hear that from?"

William waved a dismissive hand. "I was just talking to Bob, who had lunch with Ray the other day, who mentioned that he had just talked to Greta, who had heard from Patrick that Pete told Brian to put Mikey back out."

Gabe tilted his head, stroking his small goatee in thought. Travis just looked confused.

"Uh, who's Mikey, again?"

William rolled his eyes. "Man, have you been getting into the drug stash again?"

Gabe turned to glare at Travis, who had a sheepish expression on.

"Dude, what did I tell you? I need you to get that stuff out into the local high schools and college campuses--our numbers last quarter were way disappointing. You're not helping anything by smoking it."

"Sorry." Travis managed to look guilty.

"Right." Gabe turned back to William. "So, Mikeyway's back in the field, you say? Hmm, interesting." Turning away again, he went back to stroking his beard in thought. "He just got taken out a few weeks ago, but Wentz always did have a soft spot for him." Grinning abruptly, he flashed unusually pointy teeth. "Well, whatever. Doesn't matter the reason; that's great news for us."

He turned back to William and Travis, ready to ask William if he'd heard who Mikey's new (unlucky) charge was, only to find them acting out several lewd scenes with the Sorry! pieces. Now, Gabe would normally be all for this, and was even tempted to join in (really, what were Peter Pan and Captain Hook doing? So vanilla!), but there was work to be done. They had to focus, and, more importantly, pay attention to him!

He cleared his throat, causing both men to look up from an orgy involving Tarzan, Ariel, and Dumbo. "Come on, dudes, we've got work to do! I need you two to go get some bouncers drunk, so they'll let in that huge group of underage kids planning on going clubbing tonight."

"Gotcha, boss," Travis said, climbing to his feet with William.

As they stood there, Gabe looked at them expectantly. "Well, what the fuck are you waiting for? Get your sorry asses out there!"

Travis giggled. "Sorry! Hehehe," as William grabbed his arm and dragged him out.

Sighing contentedly, Gabe sat down and reached for Buzz Lightyear and Bambi.


High School AU
...but it's NOT "I'm Not Okay" 'verse! *gasp*, I know. I started this universe with pandorathene, but as with most things, she got bored and moved onto other stuff. Since then, I've changed some things, and added some stuff. Important stuff to know: Frank's a sophomore, Bob is his VP, and Brian is Frank's older brother (who is made of AWESOME) & guardian (their parents died in a car crash years ago, I believe, and Brian's old enough that he takes care of Frankie).

"Hi, Bob!" The vice principal looked up just in time to see Frank Iero bound into his office, and promptly fall over a chair placed directly in front of the door. The corners of Bob's mouth twitched. Apparently, someone had forgotten to move it, and if anyone asked, it wasn't him.

Scrambling to his feet, Frank frowned. "Huh, that's not usually there." Shrugging it off, he bypassed the uncomfortable-looking chairs that lined the office in favor of sitting on top of Bob's big, intimidating desk. Sliding across the desktop (and knocking over several picture frames in the process), Frank grinned widely at the vice principal. "So, anything new and interesting going on, Bob?"

"I'm never going to get you to actually call me Mr. Bryar, am I?"

"Nope, probably not," Frank agreed amiably. "So! New and interesting stuff! Come on, tell me all the latest teacher gossip."

"Well, I had lunch with your brother yesterday." Bob smirked, turning back to his computer screen.

"Er." Frank's broad grin dropped a notch. "He was taking you on a date?" he asked hopefully.

Bob rolled his eyes, ignoring the little voice in his head which was saying I wish... "We were discussing last week's...incident in Chemistry. Ms. Jithandrahydrathin was not happy."

"I swear that was an accident, honest!" Frank said, sheepish. "Really, I totally thought that bottle said H3PO4, not H2SO4! It was an honest mistake." He paused, frowning. "Also, that was my favorite shirt."

Bob just looked at him sardonically, one eyebrow raised. "Well, that was Alex Suarez's favorite hand, Ryland's favorite arm, and Victoria's favorite face...oh, and the janitors' favorite window."

"Okay, it was just the back of Alex's hand and one small patch on Ryland's arm, and Vicky's eyebrow is totally growing back already, and she should have been wearing goggles! And the window....yeah, okay, the window's pretty much my bad. But still! Ms. J shouldn't be leaving that stuff out in the first place, even if it's diluted! Because someone like me could totally come and mistake it for something innocent like phosphoric acid and people could get hurt! ...uh, kinda like they did, I guess...." As he trailed off, Frank had the grace to look ashamed.

Bob just rolled his eyes again. "Well, whatever happened, I'm not going to give you too much flack, because your brother seemed pretty pissed, so I'm pretty sure he'll be making you feel sufficiently guilty for the next week or so."

Frank groaned at this. Brian was a master at guilt trips.

Bob just smiled, turning back to his computer. Without glancing up from the screen, he said, "Oh, the late bell’s going to ring in 30 seconds, by the way."

"Shit!" Frank exclaimed, jumping off the desk and snatching his backpack off the floor.

As if on cue, the electronic bell rang over the PA system just as Frank's call of "see ya later, Bob!" could be heard from down the hallway. Mr. Bryar shook his head, and returned to his game of solitaire.

---

(insert 1-2 more adorable Frank/Bob exchanges during Homeroom here)

---

Frank flashed his most winning smile at the secretaries as he entered the office. They all smiled sweetly back at him, exclaiming how absolutely adorable he was as soon as they thought he was out of earshot. Smirking, he continued down the hallway of administrator's offices until he reached the one at the very end. Throwing the door open enthusiastically, he bounced into the room, grinning brightly. "Morning, Bob!"

"Morning," the vice principal replied mildly.

Frank hopped up onto the desk, setting his backpack down on a nearby chair and settling in next to the computer monitor. "So, I had this idea on how to get out of having Browning again for European History, because I am so sick of his horrible puns and I think I might kill myself if he makes ONE more crack rhyming my last name with--"

"Frank," Bob said, cutting him off. Pausing, he turned to look at Frank for a moment. Sighing deeply, he voiced a thought that had only just occurred to him the day before: "Do you actually have a homeroom you're supposed to be in, or do you continue to come in here and annoy me at this time every day because you just can't remember where it is?"

Frank stopped talking, and actually blushed. Looking down, he shrugged his shoulders noncommittally and swung his feet back and forth. "You know, I think I had one once...like, first semester of freshman year? But then Mr. Bendis told me that I had been switched to Ms. Ziffin's homeroom for second semester, and so I went down to her lab, but Ms. Z said I wasn't on her list, and so I should check with Mr. Yertz, who's the head of the math and science homerooms, but when I went to him, he told me I should go talk to my counselor, but it was the beginning of the semester so there was a HUGE wait to see Ms. Garfin, and I was just some tiny freshman with no holes in his schedule, so I waited in line every day for a week to talk to her before giving up, and ended up just wandering around the building during homeroom after that. It was kinda cool, and I got to know all the shortcuts and back staircases and stuff really well for a freshman. But Zack--you know, the really awesome security guard?--noticed me lurking around after a while and got all suspicious, so I started to hang out in the nurse's office, and that worked okay for a while. Katie's really cool, and she's gotten to know me pretty well since I get sick so much. But then she finally got sick of me too, and said if I wasn't going to help her with all her filing, I should find somewhere else to hang out, because I was getting in the way. So, uhm...after that, I kinda decided to come hang out here until you kicked me out, too?" The last part came out like a question, and he finally looked up through too-long bangs to meet the administrator's steady gaze. Bob found he had a sudden urge to go yell at all of the teachers and staff that Frank had mentioned; for letting the poor kid go for nearly two years without an adviser like that, continuously passing him off to someone else, and never taking responsibility for the situation. Students were supposed to have an adviser to make sure that shit like that didn't happen.

Bob cleared his throat. "Well, I should probably probably talk to Ms. Garfin about that...." Frank nodded, looking back down at his lap. "But in the meantime, I suppose it's alright if you keep hanging out here during homeroom."

At this, Frank looked up, flashing Bob his full-toothed, million-watt smile. "Really? I can stay here?"

Bob couldn't keep the corners of his mouth from twitching upwards at Frank's obvious happiness. "Yeah, for now." He couldn't resist the urge to reach over and ruffle Frank's hair. "Now get outta here, kid--before Mr. Free marks you absent again."

"Thanks, Bob." Frank grinned at him one last time before turning around and bounding out the door, narrowly escaping a collision with a filing cabinet.

Bob shook his head, watching him go. "Oh man, that kid..." Laughing quietly to himself, he reached for the phone, punching in Brian's cell number.

So, what do you think of tough-guy administrator Bob, who secretly has insides of marshmallow? And also may or may not have a crush on the older brother/guardian of one of his biggest "problem students". Oh, Bob. ♥

And then we have Patrick, the quiet sophomore who never speaks up, except in band, where he turns into this amazing little drumming machine, who is--despite his extreme patience--fed up with everyone in his section (of which he is Principal/Section Leader) majorly sucking (with the exception of this other Sophomore named Spencer Smith, who he becomes friends with).

This is the very beginning of the scene in which Patrick meets Pete:

It wasn't that Patrick hated pep band. Really, he didn't. It was just that...well, okay, maybe he hated it a little. But he just didn't see the point of "school spirit", or whatever it was that compelled his classmates to get worked up about pep rallies and sporting events. And sports--especially of the high school variety--had never been his thing.

So Patrick was finding it hard to feel at all excited about being on a bus that would be leaving shortly for the Girls' Basketball State Championship.

The scene continues with Patrick sitting down by himself, settling in with his iPod, and getting ready to just enjoy what he can with the comfort of Motown in his ears, when this obnoxious senior with a completely painted face and homemade t-shirt--practically oozing school spirit--slides into the seat next to him, all, "This seat taken? Sweet, thanks," before 'Trick can say a thing. They then have a somewhat awkward dialog where Patrick is all, "uhm, this is the band bus, the fan buses are around the side," and Pete is all, "oh, really? huh" but before he can get off, the bus pulls away, so he ends up stuck there, sitting next to Patrick, who starts singing along really quietly to his iPod--he probably doesn't even notice he's doing it, and Pete is all, "dude, you can SING", etc. etc. So...yeah. That's that scene. And that fic. XD

Small Business Owners AU
So, this fic is kind of my baby. I have this whole universe planned out in my head in such detail, it's a little scary. Basically, there's this building in Chicago that is owned by Pete, with all these independent little shops owned by various bandom people. Other bandom people work in these shops. Still more bandom people live in the few studio apartments on the second floor of the building. I have a whole list of shops, employees, lodgers, etc. (and even a floor map of both levels--no, I'm completely serious). If anyone's interested, I'd be happy to share this list (and map, if you're really that curious). But for now, I'll just give you two scenes. Here is the first scene of the fic, so you don't actually have to know anything:

"Spencer, Spencer, Spencer!" Brendon burst through the door, all flailing limbs and wide smiles. "Guess what!"

Ryan had looked up from his poetry long enough to see that Brendon returning home. Turning to Spencer, who was absorbed in the sudoku puzzle from that morning's newspaper, he elbowed him in the ribs.

"OW! Fuck Ryan, your elbows are pointy!" Looking up, he noticed Brendon's presence. "Uh, what?"

Brendon's grin barely faltered. "I found you a job!"

This announcement was met with silence. Ryan didn't even look up, having gone back to writing in his little black book. Spencer raised his eyebrows.

"Brendon," Spencer said, as if speaking to a small child, "do you even know what I do?"

Brendon attempted to give him one of Ryan's looks, but it came out more like a demented pout. "Economics major, right? With a focus on business applications?"

"Uh, yeah," Spencer replied, somewhat impressed that Brendon had remembered.

"And you're looking for a job, right?" Brendon was getting impatient, Spencer could tell, so he simply nodded slowly.

"So, this guy Jon has this great coffee shop that I play at sometimes, and he's looking for someone to help him out with the business side of things, and I told him that you'd be perfect!"

Spencer tried not to gape. Really, he did. Closing his eyes for a moment, he took a deep breath. "Brendon," he began, "I have an economics degree from the University of Chicago, and you want me to manage a coffee shop?!"

"Well, yeah," Brendon said, frowning. "What's the problem?"

Ryan, who had put down his pen to watch the exchange, sensed an oncoming Spencer blow-up, and jumped in. "Where is this place, Brendon?"

"It's in Clandestine Crossing--you know, that little place on the edge of downtown, over by the Pier?"

"Oh, I love that place!" Ryan said, enthusiastic (well, as enthusiastic as Ryan could ever be). "Come on, Spencer, you should go work there; Maja's boutique is in the same building, and I bet you could convince her to give me a discount."

Spencer looked back and forth between Ryan and Brendon. The truth was, he really did need a job, and even if this one was below his qualifications (way, way below); it was something to pay his share of the rent until he could find something better. Heaving a dramatic sigh, he crossed his arms. "Well, if it gets Ryan a discount on his ridiculous clothes, then I suppose I can give it a go. But only until--" He was cut off by Brendon throwing himself at him.

"Thank you so, so much, Spence! Really, Jon'll be so happy, I really appreciate it. I'll tell him you'll be by around 10 tomorrow, 'kay?" Spencer attempted to protest this, but it came out as more of a squawk, since Brendon was cutting off his air supply. Ryan smirked at him over Brendon's shoulder, and Spencer glared back, making a mental note to hide all of his writing utensils later.

And here's a scene that comes quite a bit later, after Spencer starts working at Pretty. Odd. Coffee. All you need to know is that Frank owns a specialty ice cream & candy store called Br-r-rain Food, which is...uhm, I guess think of it as a non-magical Honeydukes, but like...vampire & zombie themed? Kinda? Basically, it's Halloween all year round in there XD

The first time Spencer met Gerard, he had been working at Clandestine Crossing nearly a week.

Brendon had been bugging him all week to bring home a bag of Brain Poppers from Frank's shop--"Seriously, Spencer, they're amazing! They're like, these pinkish hard candies with a gummy coating, shaped like brains, you know, and then they have this stuff in the center, kind of like Pop Rocks? Anyway, it leaves your mouth looking like there was an explosion of blood and guts for HOURS, it's awesome!"--Spencer didn't exactly see the appeal, but Brendon was insistent, so on Friday, he took his lunch break early and headed directly over to Br-r-rain Food, wanting to avoid the crowd of kids that was always in there after school.

When he got to the corner shop, however, Spencer was surprised to see that Frank wasn't alone. He was sitting on the counter, deeply engrossed in an argument with a guy wearing black, paint-spattered jeans and an old band tee. They were so involved in their discussion, they didn't hear the skeleton on the door rattle when Spencer came in.

"--just saying, how can you possibly expect a civilian to understand the whole secret identity, leading-a-double-life thing? And they fight side-by-side, always saving each other's lives..." Frank gesticulated wildly, but the other guy shook his head.

"Maybe so, but Lois loves him as Clark, an actual person. She's someone he can come home to. With Bruce it's always all, 'saving the world, business as usual,' all that shit." The paint-spattered man made a flail-y motion with his hands that made Spencer want to laugh. Instead, he cleared his throat loudly.

Looking over, Frank finally noticed him and grinned. "Oh! Hey Spencer. Say, who do you think is Superman's true love, Batman or Lois Lane?" Both men looked towards Spencer, expectant.

"Uhm...?" Spencer shrugged, unsure quite how to answer that. After all, he hadn't known Frank that long. Deciding to bypass the question entirely, he cleared his throat again. "Uh, I'm just here to pick up some Brain Pops for Brendon...?"

"Brain Poppers?" Frank asked. At Spencer's nod, he laughed, jumping off the counter to go pull a bag of them off the shelf. "Yeah, that's right, he loves those, doesn't he?"

Spencer nodded. As he moved towards the counter to pay, he noticed that the man Frank had been talking with was giving him an odd look, his head cocked to the side. It kind of creeped Spencer out a little bit.

As Frank headed back to the register, bag in hand, he noticed Spencer's look. "Oh, yeah sorry," he grinned sheepishly, "that's Gerard, my boyfriend." Getting an evil look in his eye, Frank giggled. "Don't mind him, he's a crazy artist." Teasing as it was, Spencer could hear the barely-disguised affection creeping into his voice.

Gerard gave Frank the finger with one hand while sticking out the other for Spencer to shake.


Contagious Genderfuck Crackfic
This is exactly what the cut says it is. Naturally, there is absolutely no excuse for this. But that isn't going to stop me from writing it XP I only have the intro written thus far, but I've got lots of plans for this...

To this day, no one is exactly sure how it started. Patrick insists that it was probably just some bizarre mutation of the flu, but secretly thinks Pete might have had a hand in it. Pete, of course, vehemently denies any involvement; this has convinced exactly no one. Ryan thinks it must've been the fault of some crazed fangirl, Gabe says it was "the Will of the Cobra", and Andy swears it was a government conspiracy. The Way brothers have some ridiculously elaborate explanation involving a mad scientist, a voodoo priestess, and possibly unicorns. But whatever the cause, it definitely started with Spencer Smith.


I also have a White Houses AU that is still in the development stage, so I haven't written anything yet. Other fics that I have partially cast and vague ideas for in the back of my head, but may or may not ever actually write: a Scooby-Doo AU (Pete is Fred! Patrick is Velma! William is Daphne!), a Fern Gully AU, and a Little Miss Sunshine AU.


So. Thoughts? Comments? Ideas? Feedback? TELL ME WHAT YOU GUYS THINK! Please? *hopeful eyes* :D
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